Maybe, just maybe I might have loved him…I managed to be & stay content for more than a year…no WAIT!!! that is the loneliness talking.  The reality is that contentment was better than desolation & abandonment, I think, isn’t it? 

I’m too sad at this moment, too sad, I’m not nearly 30 but it will be arriving in due course and I’m single once more, my grandmother is telling me that she is ready to go home and doesn’t know how long the good Lord is willing to give her for her to see my wedding day.

I told Mr Contentment to go though, I did the leaving again! 
I walked away even though I promised myself never again…
I left a good man who was interested in me once again!!!  For heaven’s sake why can’t I just make something last…

it’s like a really bad love song that I can’t get out of my head. BAD BAD BAD!!! love song first it was Mr Humorous, then Mr Wonderful, later Mr Educated & now Mr Contentment.

I just don’t have the feelings, you know, that butterflies in the tummy type, that permanent smile when he walks into the room type, that I wanna get married right now & have your babies type, but then I hate the loneliness.