I left him…I can’t believe that I left him. He was more trouble than he was worth but at least I had someone who loved me who didn’t have to love me. I feel empty inside right now. Just really low, why is it that women let men define who they are? Why do we as women allow men to dictate our moods, our thoughts, our lives. I am soooo depressed right now and I can’t understand why ’cause I knew he was a mess and I let myself get hurt ’cause I let him in. It will get better though…I just know it and now that it’s winter it’s easier to see the change when it comes. I was talking to my friend the other day and she told me: “it sounds like your brain is telling you to leave him alone, so don’t call him after a while it will go away on its own…trust me.” Then she said: ” it’s good that we’re in winter now ’cause by Spring you won’t even remember how he looks, or his voice or any of that. Nothing will be there, pick a tree and follow its growth in this time until then and you’ll see what I mean”.

That girl never has a man but when you need some good advice she’s on point. Imma pick a tree today ya’ll…I need a tree with no leaves just the sticks left. So that I can see the changes outwardly even if I cannot feel them yet.